Love Happens

Random Things

2012-02-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

Dang being a Mom can get crazy.

I LOVE it!

So what's up in our cozy corner of the world?

Bulldozer's almost 4, and though I didn't think it were possible, he has even MORE words in his vocabulary. Side note to that - I taught him ASL as an 18 month old who only had maybe 5 words when he first came home... wonder if that has anything to do with his language explosion. Seriously - the kid DOESN'T stop talking. EVER. Even in his sleep.

Entertainer's 5 and *gasp* being registered next week for Kindergarten. Its really fun to watch him process things and think things out.

Peanut's REALLY starting to settle. Its just been within the last two weeks or so, but its been SO nice to see! She's been talking about her upcoming adoption a lot and is ~~looking~~ acting less and less like a kid with RAD as each day passes. She LOOKS happy, isn't just acting anymore.

Prince Charming's working hard as always, but of course made sure I had GORGEOUS flowers for VDay. Roses and Lillies - my favorite combination! They are SO amazing smelling!

Do You Have $2?

2012-01-25T23:35:00.003-07:00

Look around. Take a DEEP look. A HARD look.

You've got clothes.

CLEAN clothes

You've got a roof over your head and food in your gut.

You're richer than 75% of the world

just for having those two things

please

PLEASE

help a girl out

donate $2

and help buy a simple thing

some clean underwear for kids with disabilities

go here

NOW

and remember the next time you order a latte

a movie

a handful of songs off of iTunes

there's a child who just needs a pair of underwear

some food

and to know

they're loved.

Watch Me Grow - Peanut's 6 Year Check Up

2012-01-22T14:55:00.001-07:00

Peanut had her 6 year check up this past week. Since coming home in September, she's gained a pound and a half, and height wise has grown 1/4 of an inch. Minus her ears, Dr. G said everything's looking great. She's very healthy and has made great gains since September. He couldn't help but smile.

The huge catch is her ears.

I've pushed since we've gotten her to figure out why she's had articulation errors. At first we wondered if it was because of the things she's faced in the past. We hoped given some time and exposure to other typical 5 year olds, she'd clear up.

Then she failed her first hearing exam.

So we went to the doctor, where we found there was fluid on her ears, but that they were not infected. So we gave her Claritin for 2 weeks hoping it was allergies and that things would clear up.

She didn't complain about her ears hurting, so we thought we'd cleared things up. Her articulation wasn't getting better, but it certainly wasn't for a lack of trying.

In November, she failed her second hearing exam.

We called the doctor's office again, who scheduled her for a visit with the ENT. The catch there was that we couldn't get in until mid-January.

We finally got in (the same day as her check up) and met the nicest ENT ever. I swear God hand-picked Dr. K. Why do I believe this?

Dr. K was adopted too.

What a HUGE blessing. Dr. K pointed out to Peanut how lucky she is and how cool it is to be adopted. I'm thankful for that, and for such a strong role model in that you can be adopted and though its different than some, still go on to accomplish great things.

Long story short, Peanut should have had tubes put in her ears YEARS ago. I get her birth-mom missing that. Parenting wasn't exactly a priority for her. However, the two years she spent in care? When it could have been done then?

Frustrates the crap out of me.

It is what it is though, and we're fixing it now which is what matters.

Wednesday we head to surgery to clear things out and take out the adenoids. Ice cream's been promised afterward, rainbow sprinkles and all. I'm not looking forward to the surgery, but two days to do nothing but snuggle my Peanut?

I am definitely looking forward to that.

The Toughest Lesson Kids from "The System" Have to Learn

2012-01-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, I have to leave to another town here in our state about 4 hours away for a work related conference. Peanut is NOT happy. She has been all over me, in my face, trying her best to demand attention on her terms.

This is the toughest lesson that kids who have been in foster care have to learn. See, kids who you've had in the womb and had since birth (and have a healthy home) don't have this issue. They've never had an adult who was supposed to be there leave them/not care for them/abuse them/etc.

Bulldozer and Entertainer had to learn this lesson when I had my emergency appendectomy. They learned I could leave and I'd be back.

Now its time for Peanut to learn the same.

That Mommy can leave, and WILL be back and she (Peanut) WILL survive it.

Between now and then though is going to be tough. She's going to be clingy. She's going to be in my face. She's going to have to learn that she can't be in my face, that life still goes on and she will still go on. Someday, prayerfully a LONG time and many, many days from now, she'll have to do that without me. In the meantime, she's got to learn I can be gone overnight for a night or two and the world won't end.

With love and support and lots of reminders that I love her, that I'm not leaving because of her, that I will be back, she'll learn.

Just like her brothers did.

Happy 6th Birthday, Peanut!

2012-01-15T22:25:00.002-07:00

Dear Peanut,

You turned six today! Where does the time go? You've lived with us for almost 5 months now. You've grown SO much since you first came. When you first came home:

you ate really slowly for control

you wore pull ups at night

your ability to articulate speech wasn't the greatest

you never stayed in the moment, always wondered what was next

you tried to manipulate our behavior

you tried to boss your brothers around

you ALWAYS asked a lot of questions.

Five months later, you still ask a lot of questions. You also still try to boss your brothers from time to time, but then again, what big sister doesn't. You're starting to settle. Today at Chuck E Cheese was a bit overwhelming for you. I could tell because you were very wide eyed and unsure at times.

When it was all done though, throughout the rest of the day and evening, I heard "I love you" more than I've heard since you first came home. I got LOTS of hugs. I heard "I LOVED my birthday today. Thank you Mommy and Daddy". I heard "I'm really yours" quietly part your mouth and I tried really hard not to cry because you said it while we were at the restaurant.

We love you to the moon and back, and can't wait to celebrate more birthdays with you.

Love forever,

Mommy and Daddy

Rough Week

2012-01-05T22:54:00.000-07:00

Its been a rough week. Anyone else? Oh good. Not that I want you to have a rough week, I just don't want to be alone in the rough week. Peanut's been acting out more. We're getting closer and closer to the time she was removed from her kinship placement. She doesn't realize that's why things are so tough for her and why she's been so ~~defiant stinkerish~~ just plan mad lately, but it is.

Kids in care go through this. Sometimes for years. It just depends on the severity and depth of the trauma they've faced. Its NO fault of their own, but its still important they learn more effective ways to express how they're feeling (through using words/drawing pictures). Its also important to learn that something traumatic does NOT excuse inappropriate behavior. EVER.

I may not be Peanut's favorite person right now, and that's okay. I have no doubt that there will be plenty of times throughout her growing up (and the boys for that matter) where I'm not their favorite person.

I'll love them anyway.

Simple Things

2012-01-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

i don't even want to know how unhealthy this is

honestly, i don't care

its the simple thing that cory and I enjoy doing together and our "date night" at home costs us $3 or less

we'll be 90 something and sipping on our sodas and eating our apple pies

and i love that

Parenting with Special Needs

2012-01-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, all three of my children have special needs.

No, you can't see by looking that they have special needs.

Unless you count what I do Monday - Friday from 8-4, then no, I don't know what its like to change the diaper of a 10 year old, clean up puke and drool from a 9 year old, or give a seizure med up the backside of a 13 year old. If you count my job though, then yes I do know. I do know what its like to be around kids who slap, headbutt, and kick because they don't have the words or don't want to use their words to communicate.

Looking at my three kids, can you see their needs?

No.

Spend some time with them, and you'll find

one who tries to manipulate me and control me because I'm an adult and adults can't be trusted

one who puts EVERYTHING in his mouth, because he missed that stage of development, and no matter how many times we "re-visit" it, he still puts things to his mouth that don't belong

one who can make himself ill on command if he's upset and wants my attention

one who shoves everything in his mouth as fast as he can, because his mind is still wired that even after two years, this meal may be his last

one that has more than normal anxiety if what happens next was not announced two hours ago

one who used to sit on the couch screaming and crying for 45minutes or longer because he couldn't process all he'd been through.

Have my children come a long way since they came home?

Absolutely.

Do they still have a ways to go?

Without a doubt.

So if I ever seem tired like a Mom of a newborn even though my children are anything but, more forgetful than I should be, or (though I'm working on it) more short than I should be because all of my patience has been exerted on my children and I've got nothing left for you,

don't take it personal

just understand this is the season I'm in

and while you can't see their needs,

I am parenting children with special needs

because had they been born to me,

they wouldn't have these needs

yet that's not what happened, and not what God's asked me to do.

2011

2011-12-31T21:40:00.000-07:00

If I were to sum up 2011, I'm pretty sure one word could handle it. That word? WOW. Three little letters. Yet together, they say A LOT. In five short months we sold our house and bought a new one. Not an easy feat in this economy. We also welcomed home our third child, and helped two different friends say goodbye to one of theirs. We've had ups and downs. Parenting is hard. Parenting kids with special needs is even harder. I wouldn't trade it for the world though.

I saw the following quote earlier today on Twitter and couldn't have agreed with it more:

"2011 you made me realize life is difficult yet beautiful. You can always knock me down, but I will always get back up."

I Don't Know How You Do It

2011-12-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

this is probably the #1 thing I hear, no matter where I go

three kids five and under

full time SPED teacher in a self-contained class learning with some of the toughest kids in the district

part time grad student

so... how do I do it?

honestly, I'm not entirely sure. all I know is this is the season God's asked me to be in.

let me start by clarifying...

I am NOT a saint. I am NOT perfect. I am NOT a martyr.

I screw it up from time to time.

I hand in the occasional assignment late, let the laundry pile up, car get dirty, or get too short with the kids/husband/pets.

so PLEASE do not EVER think I've got it all together.

'cuz I don't.

I spend a lot of time though

A LOT

talking with the ONE who does.

other things I do?

When I do cook, I cook a double batch of a meal, put half of it in an aluminum pan, and freeze it for the following month. When I get this done right, I'm only cooking every other month. The alternate month I just have to pull something out of the freezer and throw it in the oven for 30 minutes or so. Plus, if someone needs a meal... I've got one all ready to go :).

I take time for myself once a week. Whether that's with friends, or to the store to get milk, its time for me. Time away from having to be ~~mom/nurse/teacher/wife~~ the family referee.

We do 1-2 loads of laundry a night. It helps IMMENSELY to prevent Mount Laundry from attacking my weekend.

I have the BEST husband. I don't know too many who would be so supportive of their wife being back in school and picking up extra chores around the house to help out. I am SO blessed to be his wife. I love that man more than I can express.

I "nest" according to my friends... I clean and re-organize things a lot. Just the other day, my husband walked into the kitchen, shook his head and mumbled "oh not again" and walked out. It helps me channel the things that do stress me and my OCD ways out into a more positive outlet.

We laugh. A LOT. Parenting is HARD. Especially with our crew. Laughter helps us keep perspective.

We LOVE even more.

What Can Be Said in Five Minutes or Less?

2011-12-27T15:30:00.001-07:00

Bulldozer: Mommy, coughing is NOT my friend. I don't like him.
Entertainer: Look Mommy! That's California Gas (the 3G's station on the corner of Orchard and State).
Peanut: No Entertainer, that's Billings Gas. Or maybe Taco Gas. But I'm pretty sure Billings Gas.
Entertainer: Well we're not getting that anyway. We're getting Sams Club Gas.
Peanut: I love you too much to argue with you Entertainer.
Entertainer: Yeah well I love you too much to argue with you.

Live Like That

2011-12-25T22:59:00.001-07:00

Head on over here for the new Sidewalk Prophets Single coming out soon...

can I just say.... I freaking LOVE this song!!!

Here are 5 people/groups of people I want to "live like that" and why:

My Dad. He's worked hard all of his life, is loyal and kind, one of those who would literally give you the shirt from his back and expect nothing in return. Though the "fish" gets bigger every year, he knows he's here on Earth until God calls him home and lives like that.

The Camdens, The Fullers, and The Sturns. They're all people that love God, and at some point in my life were friends who became family. They were all a part of my life when I needed it, and gave me everything I needed during that time. They've helped me become me more than they'll ever know and I love them deeply for it.

My friend Kori. Her and her family have experienced the greatest loss a parent can experience, yet they chose to move forward and give thanks to God. Their strength and faith overwhelm me. Yes, there are days they cry. Days they don't want to move or get out of bed. Yet they do it anyway.

My girlfriends Stefne, Kori, Sara, Megan, Donna, Jenn, Kari, Tracy, Jess, and Erica. Whether I've met them face to face, or we've connected via Facebook, e-mail, etc.... they are the epitome of sisterhood. They are always looking for ways to help others, whether a listening ear, helping hand, etc. They are LOVE, through and through. They have been fantastic teachers for me, someone who grew up learning nothing but to not trust "girlfriends"because the "girlfriends" in my life were anything but.

My students and children. They love unconditionally, forgive in the blink of an eye, and are some of my greatest teachers. They give without expecting anything in return. They don't have a skeptic's eye. They ask questions. They push boundaries. Kisses heal ouchies, and they always want to learn.

Live Like That - Sidewalk Prophets
*this is just a teaser of the song... you have to visit their site to hear it all

sometimes I think
what will people say of me
when I'm only just a memory
when I'm home where my soul belongs
was I love when no one else would show up
was I jesus to to the least of us
was my worship more than just a song

i wanna live like that
and give it all i have
so that everything i say and do
points to you

My prayer:

Father, help me live like that. Like those I've mentioned. Like you want me to. Push me out of my comfort zone. I want EVERYTHING I say and do to point to you.

My Three Wishes

2011-12-23T21:07:00.001-07:00

As Christmas draws ever-nearer.... I've been thinking about what my wishes are.

This is what I've decided for this year:

I wish that we'd all stop judging on outside looks. I don't want to assume I know a person based on what they look like. I don't want to place my judgment on whether they're beautiful/handsome by what my eyes can see, but by the content of their character and heart.

I wish that instead of saying "I could never do that" or "that is asking too much of me", that people would find SOME way to help kids in foster care/orphanages. At the very least, pray for them. NO child should ever "age out" of ANY system, much less spend a lifetime in a system like so many do.

I wish that I always remain open-minded to what God is asking of me, even and especially if I'm scared to death.

What would you wish for this Christmas?

Untitled

2011-12-22T21:51:00.001-07:00

I have really struggled lately, more so than I've let on.

Work has been the toughest for the first time in my teaching career. I always have a tough kiddo here and there, but this year is different. I have the biggest caseload I've ever had, with 44% of that being HIGH behavioral students. I've felt like I've done nothing but fight bureaucracy in the name of advocating for my students since the start of the year. I've had a student teacher, new staff, and new teaching partner all during this time to train.

More demands and less time to get them done.

Grad school was the toughest this semester by far. Two incredibly hard classes, one on assessment, the other my internship as a soon to be Behavior Analyst.

Adjusting to being a Mom of three, and not just any mom of three, but child #3 bringing (not through ANY fault of her own) a whole car full of emotional baggage and trauma with her and not being able to take time off to be there for her like I feel I should be. Like ALL new moms when they get maternity time to adjust to one more little one.

I've SERIOUSLY struggled.

Trying to find balance, figure out what it is exactly that God wants me to do. 'Cuz the perfectionist OCD-er in me wants the game plan for today three weeks ago. At least. Preferably even longer.

Wondering if I'm doing His will, or trying to exert "mine" (more like my illusion of mine)

its during this time though I've SERIOUSLY prayed.

BEGGING God for anything.

A whisper, shout, email, SOMETHING.

I'll do whatever He wants from me, if He'd just let me know.

This week, I've gotten just that.

Notes of encouragement from colleagues, parents of students, family, friends I do see regularly, and friends I haven't seen face to face in years. Messages on my Facebook, my phone, and email from people I haven't even met face to face, that I am truly humbled by. People that don't even know the struggles I've had lately.

its overwhelming and MORE than I deserve

THANK YOU Father. I know its not much, but I love you oodles.

What Do We Do For Christmas?

2011-12-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

Peanut had a very valid question the other day when she asked, "Mom, what do we do for Christmas?"

After all, this is her first Christmas with us.

Our Christmas is a combination of traditions from my family and Cory's.

We order pizza from Pizza Hut on Christmas Eve (Mandi's family)

We go to Christmas Eve Mass (Both families)

We open presents (Cory's family)

We read The Christmas Story out of The Bible

and

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

*a new tradition Cory and I wanted to start*

On Christmas Day, presents from Santa are opened. (both families)

What are the traditions in your family?

Forever in My Heart

2011-12-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

There's a little boy who a lot of people don't know about that will always be forever in my heart. He turns two this month, and had things gone according to our plans, his last name would have been the same as ours.

See, shortly after getting our licence way back in April 2009, a birth mom contacted us about a private adoption through her mom (birth mom was a teenager). We agreed, thus beginning a six month roller coaster ride. Full of ups and a lot of downs, as she was using while pregnant with our baby.

Halfway through her pregnancy, she changed her mind. While we were brokenhearted, what broke my heart more than anything was knowing the girl well enough to know she'd never parent. As its a family here where we live, sad to say what was predicted has come to fruition as baby boy's Grandma is raising him.

A lot of people told me to get over it, he was never mine.

While I trust God's plan, even though at times I don't agree with it at that time, that baby boy very much was mine. And even though that chapter ended with heartache, I LOVE that I got to be present for the ultrasounds, to know what a baby's heartbeat sounds like, to see a baby moving inside a mother's womb. I will forever be grateful for that.

I pray nightly for my baby that isn't mine. I pray that he's loved, safe, and cared for. I pray that he's happy, and comforted when he's not. He will always be in my heart. For there, he's my son.

Overwhelmed

2011-12-13T22:29:00.001-07:00

I keep thinking of that scene in Facing the Giants where Coach Taylor is obviously overwhelmed and tears up by his brand new truck, a truck GIVEN to him with no strings attached, saying "Oh Lord, you've given me a truck!"

Y'all, I am that overwhelmed.

In the mail today was a gift card with a SIGNIFICANT dollar amount to buy Christmas gifts for our children. The money that we had saved originally for their gifts can now go towards desperately needed new tires. Its someone who knows us, as our children's names were included (and spelled correctly which is not an easy feat) but worked very hard to keep their gift anonymous. The card is marked from Mrs. Claus and Santa, and its even post-marked North Pole.

Santa and Mrs. Claus, if you're reading this, we are FOREVER grateful for what you've done for our family. While we know we can't thank you directly, we will find a way someday to pay it forward for someone else. In the meantime, we pray that God blesses you both and your families and wish you both a VERY Merry Christmas.

All They Really Want

2011-12-06T22:24:00.001-07:00

Something to think about this Christmas.

PS - don't forget to help me out with Project RJK and let me know about it!

The Conversations We Have

2011-12-05T22:11:00.001-07:00

I HAVE to share this because I laughed so hard I about peed my pants y'all. I mean seriously... how does a mother even respond to this?

Peanut: Bulldozer, you're doing great keeping your pants dry! Mom's so proud of you!
Bulldozer: Yeah! I get to go to kindergarten right?
Peanut: Someday! Kindergarten, then elementary school, highschool, college, and getting married.
Entertainer: What is married?
Peanut: For boys, they get a wife. Girls get a husband. Then kids join the family!
Entertainer: How am I supposed to get a wife?

Project RJK

2011-12-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

Over thanksgiving, a dear friend of mine and her family had to do the unthinkable.

They brought a beautiful baby girl into the world (their first in a family of boys)

and had to say goodbye just two days later.

Now they dance the sacred dance of grief and joy.

Grief over a daughter they only got to know for a moment, and will miss for a lifetime.

Joy that she is home with her Savior.

I want to do something special for them for Christmas to help celebrate their daughter and the miracle that she IS

but I need your help.

Between now and December 23rd, would you do me a HUGE favor?

Do ONE act of random kindness and let me know about it.

When you do it, think of Ramsey and her family.

Dedicate it to her.

You can even leave a note saying "This was done in memory of Ramsey Jo Keller" if you want.

Then, you can leave a comment here, or email me at lovehappensmt@gmail.com to let me know. I'll be collecting them and turning them into a gift for her family.

Thank you

Days of Thankfulness 24-30

2011-11-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

Day 24: I'm thankful for the house God has given us. It truly is my dream home, and I can't wait for thanksgiving dinner later today, then decorating for Christmas.

Day 25: Up with 2 sick kiddos and thankful that its today verus Monday.

Day 26: I'm thankful for my kids who when I'm sad hug me tightly and remind me it'll be okay.

Day 27: I'm thankful that everyday I wake up, its the chance to do better and do something for someone else.

Day 28: I'm thankful my husband made my lunch for me, and made sure I walked out the door with it or I'd be really hungry right about now!

Day 29: While we're sad that The Ks only got to know RJ for such a short while, we're SO thankful that they got to meet their precious girl this side of heaven and that God's promise is they'll all be together again! Kisses to heaven, baby girl!

Day 30: I'm thankful that at times its been a challenge to think what I'm thankful for. Its been a great reminder my mind hasn't been in the best places and I need to take a deep breath, live in the moment and see EACH miracle.

What Christmas is All About

2011-11-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

A local shopper was quoted today as saying, "Its worth losing a night of sleep to see the looks on your kids faces when they get what they want". Dollar amounts of $1000, $2500, $3000 are listed as being the AVERAGE being spent.

Don't get me wrong - we had tons of presents growing up usually. We'd get anywhere between 10-20 presents between all of our family. So if you're thinking its because I got "jipped" in my childhood, that's not it. Its looking at the INSANITY of what people have turned Christmas into.

Losing a night of sleep? Spending one THOUSAND dollars or more?

No thanks.

Christmas is about Christ. About a God who loves us SO much, that he sent Jesus, his only son to live (and eventually die) as a human, so that we are able to spend eternity in heaven, if we so chose.

Our tradition (I have to admit the idea isn't mine originally, I found it and loved it) is three presents. Something you want, something you need, and something homemade/can share with siblings because mom just plum ran out of time to make something. Nothing big, because our focus shouldn't be on presents or what was spent.

Our focus should be on each other, and the One who is, who was, who always will be.

Days of Thankfulness, 14-23

2011-11-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

Day 14: Let's be real. Its Monday, I'm just thankful I got up and moving to be on time for work.
Day 15: I'm thankful today for my family and friends. I am who I am today because of you all.
Day 16: I'm thankful for my warm bed that is ridiculously hard to get out of in the mornings, because it means I have a bed to sleep in.
Day 17: Today I'm thankful for instant oatmeal. Its quick to make and still yummy to eat!
Day 18: I'm thankful its payday.
Day 19: Today I'm thankful for my children being quiet until 0730.
Day 20: Thankful that Miss A is finally ready (read trusts us enough) that we can go on a date! Movie and lunch here we come!!!
Day 21: I'm thankful for a husband who makes me laugh.
Day 22: I'm thankful for the fact that each day is a chance at a do-over from the day before :)
Day 23: I'm thankful for 5 days off. I LOVE my job, but I am in desperate need of family time!

Nothing Sweeter

2011-11-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

Last night I was driving The Entertainer and The Bulldozer to their Grandpa and Grandma's house so that Peanut and I could have a dinner date with Grandma S and Auntie L. On the way there, all three started singing Frosty the Snowman, but of course not at the same time. So we had a round of sorts going on in the back of the car.

Our lives aren't perfect. I've messed up as a mom and made mistakes, and I know it will happen again. I'm human. I'll say the wrong thing, come across a little more stern than I need to. That's okay. Prince Charming and I will have a disagreement that is almost ALWAYS the result of a lack of clear communication with each other. My house isn't always spotless, and that's okay too. My kids don't always listen as well as I think they should, and today while shopping was a perfect example. That's okay. There's times when they are at each other's throats like all siblings instead of being kind, and that's okay too. Its the reality of life.

However, as I look back, and I pray that as my kids look back on things, they remember the fun moments. The moments that are nothing sweeter to this momma's heart, like a kindergarten and two preschool voices singing Frosty the Snowman because they REALLY want it to snow. Moments when they are laughing SO hard because Daddy's finally home from work and tickling them like crazy. Moments when they don't even realize I'm watching, and they're being kind and considerate.

Sweet moments.

Loving moments.

Days of Thankfulness, 7-13

2011-11-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

Day 7: Today I'm thankful for my Irish/German 'tude that I inherited. It may get me in trouble from time to time, but it also comes in handy too. Especially when taking on a university.

Day 8: Today I'm thankful for our social worker. On vacation and I make the poor woman work. She's worth her weight in gold and then some!

Day 9: Today I'm thankful for Facebook. Crazy..... I know, but without it, I wouldn't be able to easily connect with friends and family all over the country (and world) like I do.

Day 10: I'm thankful for the AWESOME support staff I have. I could NOT do my job without them! PERIOD.

Day 11: Words will never describe how thankful I am for our military and their families.

Day 12: Today I'm thankful for the chance to share our story, which is really God's story. Even if I do think God is off his rocker for asking little ol' me to do it.

Day 13: I'm thankful for adoption. One year ago today, two little boys became a legal part of our family forever and we couldn't be happier.

National Adoption Day Ceremony - My Perspective

2011-11-12T13:30:00.004-07:00

In celebration of National Adoption Month, and me surviving public speaking, I've decided to share my speech from the ceremony today with all of you. I hope you enjoy it! BTW... R is The Entertainer here on Love Happens, D is The Bulldozer, and A is Peanut.

If you’re driven and determined, you’ve got some goals. Some “Plan A’s” in your back pocket. Maybe it’s a plan for a career. Maybe it’s a plan involving family and friends. Or, it could be something as simple as a plan for lunch. What to wear. Music to listen to and so forth. Most of the time, you’re successful in your plans.

Sometimes, you’re not.

For reasons known or unknown, life has forced you to change your course. Change your plan. The light turned red when you weren’t expecting it. Your favorite restaurant is closed. The economy has forced you to look elsewhere for a job. You’re your iPod is dead. Again. Whatever it may be, you can do a lot of things. You can get angry. You can scream, cry, and throw a fit that outperforms any toddler. You can do nothing and sit wondering where it all went wrong.

Or, you can develop another plan.

I’d assumed like all newly minted brides that just as the old adage said, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage” that I’d have children. A few years went by, and we were still trying to complete our plan. Friends and family, meaning well, would often ask the ever-dreaded question “so when are you and Cory going to have some kids”?

Over the next 4 years, we waded through this test after that. This medicine, then another and another. I can honestly say when you have a migraine, driving home from work isn’t the smartest thing in the world. Especially when your husband walks in the door and asks you if you know how you parked the car. I was also convinced that Cory’s insurance company would be knocking on the door asking if I was dying, given the myriad of medicines I was taking at any given moment. As we approached the end, we really just wanted an answer. A reason our “Plan A” wasn’t going, well, according to plan.

In February 2009, we were given that answer. By this point, we had been working with multiple doctors trying to reach an answer, other than me being crazy. We learned that were both contributing factors in our inability to have biological children, and it was not medically possible to change the outcome. I’d never had a doctor personally call me before. I always thought that was reserved for something serious like cancer. I learned that wasn’t the case. To this day, I remember one of the last doctors we were working with telling us “that unless God himself changed things, we needed to look at and accept a Plan B”.

Prior to receiving this news, a friend of mine at work who knew that we’d been struggling with growing our family and starting to think about adoption visited with me. She was a foster-adoptive parent, having adopted her son a few years prior. As we talked about it, she looked me dead in the face and said, “Mandi, they’re not looking for perfection. They’re looking for someone who genuinely loves and cares for children”. Its only fair that I tell you, I’m a self diagnosed perfectionist. I can remember as a child throwing art projects in progress away, or starting over a handful of times on papers to get things “just right”. This speech for today I’ve written and re-written half a dozen times. So when my friend, who knew this very well about me, told me point blank that they, being the State, wasn’t looking for perfection, that struck a very deep and personal cord with me.

I was excited to go home and talk with Cory about it. We’d talked briefly about domestic adoption, but had decided it wasn’t for us. I was excited and nervous, because I didn’t know how open he’d be to the idea of becoming foster-adoptive parents. As it turned out, I had nothing to worry about. Cory was just as excited as I was and so a new journey, a new plan began. We started training to become foster-adoptive parents that January, and by April of 2009 had our license in hand.

Then the waiting began. Again. By this point, we were pretty much experts at waiting. Only this time, we weren’t waiting for another test result, another medicine to try, or any diagnosis. We were waiting for a phone call. Not just any phone call, but THE phone call. The one that asks if we’re interested in bringing home a child, even for just a short while. After a period of about nine months, that phone call finally came.

I’ll never forget October 13, 2009. We had learned about R and D the week before, but I’d assumed we didn’t stand a chance. They were 3 years old and 18 months old at the time, and we both worked outside the home. Surely they were looking for a stay at home mom with kids that young. Yet, there I was at work when my phone rang. My classroom got incredibly quiet. Too quiet, as I work with Special Needs Children, and though most are non-verbal, they can still make a lot of noise. It was like they knew before the rest of us did that something huge was about to take place.

P, their social worker, asked if Cory and I were still interested in taking in the boys. I don’t think I could have said yes fast enough. I’d essentially waited 7 ½ years to become a Mom. I was then able to turn around and turn my best phone call into Cory’s. I got to call him at work and say, “well Daddy, are you ready for 2?” The next 24 hours was a complete whirlwind as friends and family started to hear about our news. We had so many people in and out of our house that night, bringing us the things we’d need for the boys. I don’t know to this day that I can tell you who half of the people were, other than they were friends of friends or family.

October 14, which we now celebrate as R and D’s Gotcha Day, is the day P brought the boys home. It’s a day in which I will never forget. It’s the day our “plan B” became our “plan A”. It’s the day that for the first time in my life, someone called me Mommy, and Cory Daddy. Our world was flipped upside down as we went from no children to two in a period of less than 24 hours. Within the first hour of them being home, I was teaching R how to wash his hands after being in the bathroom, and D that as tempting as dog food is to an 18 month old, I had human food that tasted a lot better.

In 2010, we were able to finalize their adoptions at this ceremony, making them legally a part of our family forever. We thought our family was complete, that our prayers had been answered. We were parents to two fun, rambunctious, amazing little boys. Our lives were complete. Or so we thought.

Around Christmas time, R started asking when his sister was coming home. When I asked him what he was talking about, he was adamant he had a sister and wanted to know when she was coming home. I shrugged my shoulders, because honestly I didn’t know how to explain to him that things didn’t work like that for us. I also felt we were SO lucky to have the boys, that it would be selfish to ask God for more. I decided to tell him he needed to talk with God about it.

Cory and I talked with each other later that night about what R had asked. We decided that if some things happened, the biggest thing being selling our house we lived in at the time and buying a bigger one, then of course we had room for one more. As you can imagine, selling a home right now isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. We’ve had friends who have had their houses on the market for a year or longer and are still waiting. Within just five months, we had sold our house and moved into the new one, which is double the size of our old house. Our new house seemed to be just the right size for anything that might come along, with three bedrooms all upstairs, and 2 more downstairs.

We found out about our daughter A in May, and prayed that she’d be placed with the right family for her, whoever that may be. When I called S, our worker, at the end of June to let her know we’d sold our house and would be moving, her reply was “let me add to your good news by letting you know you and Cory have been selected to be the adoptive home for A”. By mid July, just a week after we’d moved, we met our daughter and started her transition home.

On August 18, 2011, I went from living in a house of all boys to evening the odds just a bit. I saw the magical affect little girls have on their Daddy. We also found ourselves waiting again, as we now wait for A’s adoption day to occur. Not that anyone’s counting, but we’ve got 3 months and 6 days until we can finalize our daughter’s adoption.

I’ve come a long way since 2009, and have learned a lot thanks to adoption. For instance, I’ve learned that there are LOADS of things I never thought would ever part my lips as a person. Things like:

• Don’t feed that to the dog.
• No, we don’t chest bump our brother naked.
• Hold your wee-wee down. HOLD IT… oh never mind.
• No, you may not have cake for breakfast. Daddy was only kidding. Right Daddy?
• Never mind how Mommy knows how to get gum out of hair. Just trust me when I say I know.

I’ve also learned kids really do say the darndest things. Things like:

• R saying, “You’re out of juice, Grandma? You could go to Wal-Mart. They’ve got juice.”
• Or the time he told me as he saw an older gentleman waving at him in the store, “He waved at me because I’m a nice guy”
• D informing his Pre-School Teachers that he’s the “evil wonder” followed by an evil-sounding laugh.
• D looking at me when he was at the table for spitting and telling me very sadly that consequences get him ebbey time.
• A telling me about something that happened at school, ending with “I’m serious here Mom. Really.”
• When A showed interest for Girl Scouts, she said it was because “they bake cookies and I want to do that!”

I’ve learned that everything can change in the blink of an eye. Had someone told me a little over two years ago that I’d be the Mom of two handsome boys that we’ve adopted, and a beautiful girl we’re in the process of adopting, I would have looked at them like they were flat off their rocker. Yet, in a window of less than 24 hours, here I am.

I’ve learned that when God says nothing is impossible with him, he really means NOTHING is impossible.

I’ve learned that it doesn’t take someone perfect to adopt. It takes someone like any one of you who have adopted or who are thinking about adoption. If you’re thinking about adoption, please, take that leap of faith. Ask yourself if you have room for one more. Cory and I did, and here we are, three more later. I guarantee you, adoption will change your life for the better in more ways than you could ever imagine or dream of. It still has us in total awe.

Finally, adoption has taught me that while life may be all about how you handle “Plan B”, embrace it anyway. You never know when your plan B might just become your plan A and become something bigger, something better than what you originally had in mind. Something full of love. After all, that’s what adoption is all about.

Month of Thankfulness, Days 1-6

2011-11-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

Day 1: Today I'm thankful God trumped infertility and gave me not one but three beautiful children.

Day 2: I'm thankful that I have the great blessing each day of working with some of the coolest kids on the planet!

Day 3: I'm thankful for my man who loves me unconditionally, tells me everyday how beautiful I am, and that no matter how bad I fail, sticks by my side!

Day 4: I'm thankful for a God who loves me more than I can ever deserve or comprehend. So much so that he sent his ONLY son to die so that I might live!

Day 5: I'm thankful for the first snowfall of the season. It sucks to drive on, but there's just something magical about it.

Day 6: Today I'm thankful for the person who came up with the idea of using fleece to make bedsheets. That person is pure genius!

Feeling A Bit Like Moses....

2011-11-05T23:53:00.000-06:00

As you may or may not know, November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Many cities and states around the country to celebrate hold an Adoption Ceremony where people speak about adoption, and a handful of adoptions are finalized.

It was at this ceremony last year where the boys's adoption was finalized.

It will be at the ceremony this year where *gulp* I've been asked and agreed to share our story.

I gotta be honest, I'm feeling a bit like Moses here. Staring at the burning bush saying, "Are you NUTS God?! I'm nothing! NOTHING! I kicked and screamed and cried my whole way through this! Adoption wasn't even my Plan A! Are you really sure I'm the best person to speak about this?!"

To which God shakes his head, smiles, and says "You're perfect for it. I am the God who blessed you, the barren woman, and made you a happy mother of THREE children. I am the God who rescued you, who continues to rescue you, and who knows that come Saturday, your love and passion for adoption, for MY plan will shine through."

If you don't mind, pray for me.... think of me this week. Moses had a stick, I've got a computer and a thousand thoughts.

Month of Thankfulness

2011-11-01T21:19:00.001-06:00

Instead of just having one Thanksgiving Day where we stuff ourselves silly of food, what if we really stop and think?

What are we thankful for?

Each and every day?

When our lives are hectic

and our children aren't listening well

or we're not parenting well

What are we still thankful for? Where's the positive thing to our day?

Today, I'm thankful that God trumped Infertility and made me a Mommy through adoption.

What are you thankful for?

My Promise

2011-10-30T22:03:00.001-06:00

I saw this on a friend's blog and had to share. People often assume that our children don't have issues because they look "normal". This is my promise to my children, and my hope that it helps explain some of the things we deal with on a regular basis.

Dear child,

I make this promise to you, my babies/children, that when the effects of prenatal drug exposure comes calling, I will hold you close when you cannot handle loud noises. I will hold you near and we will hold our hands over your ears together. I promise to pick you up and love on your boo-boos, even though you cannot feel them. When your separation anxiety gets the best of you, I promise to keep you close to me, even if that means we both miss our classes. When you scream because you cannot stand for your hair to be brushed, I will kiss your head and tickle you through it. When you are frustrated because you want to read so badly, but your brain just has not learned how to process, I promise I will encourage you and one day you will read. When you cannot sit in a room with the lights on, I will turn them off for you and we will sit together in the dark. When you cannot regulate your emotions and have a melt-down, I promise to never leave you. I promise that together, and by God’s grace, we will overcome each and every obstacle that you will face and I promise that you will succeed in life. I promise not to cry when I watch you stand up and give your testimony and say “God chose this family for me. This family showed me Jesus. By His mercy and grace, here I stand before you.” I promise.

A Snapshot of Today....

2011-10-27T21:42:00.000-06:00

the entertainer informed me i'm not old enough to drink dr. pepper

the bulldozer yelled "kisses mommy! i want kisses!" after i gave him a hug when i dropped him off at daycare with his brother.

prince charming pulled up today at my work with dinner, a husker football player, and spiderman safely strapped in the car...

Spiderman (The Bulldozer) getting out of the car, proudly telling me "Look Mommy, I Spiderman!"

Husker (The Entertainer) getting out saying, "well the party was fun, but we only got three pieces of candy" and me telling him that's two too many...

Our first parent teacher conference where we hear that overall our daughter is doing great

Peanut telling me when we left the store "you're welcome for me being good, Mommy"

and then falling asleep in my arms as I rock her to sleep

that's my snapshot of today

Happy Gotcha Day Entertainer and Bulldozer!

2011-10-14T22:28:00.000-06:00

Entertainer and Bulldozer,

WOW. Has it really been two years?! I am just in awe. It seems like just yesterday you were brought home. Just yesterday that at 18 months (Bulldozer) and 3 years (Entertainer) you were running through the house. Bulldozer, EVERYTHING went to your mouth. Entertainer, you were just wide eyed, asking if everything you saw was really yours. I remember very clearly telling you that you could call me Mommy or Mandi, and you looked at me and said "You are Mommy!" as if it'd always been that way.

Fast forward to today, and it seems sometimes as if it has always been that way. You've both grown so much. We celebrated by going out to dinner. I asked if you guys realized why today was so special and why we were celebrating it. Bulldozer, you looked right at me and smiled as you said "I got you today Mommy!"

Happy Gotcha Day Entertainer and Bulldozer! Daddy and I are SO blessed and honored God asked us to be your parents and love you both to the moon and back!

Love,
Mommy

I Be Patient!

2011-10-09T21:25:00.000-06:00

We were at Red Robin the other night for The Entertainer's birthday dinner. We'd ordered our food, but that didn't stop The Bulldozer from realizing other tables were getting their food before us. I explained to him they were there first, so they got theirs first. We had to wait and be patient.

His response?

I be patient, Mommy! I be patient and patient and patient and no food! I hungry!

Isn't it funny how patience seems to be a lifelong lesson whether you're 3 or 31?

Happy Birthday Entertainer!

2011-10-07T21:57:00.000-06:00

Pictures to come later....

Entertainer,

You're five today! My oh my... are we really here? Have you really been a part of our lives for two years now? I wish time would slow down. It is such a blessing and honor to be your Mommy and the time is just going way too fast.

Earlier this week you decided who you wanted to invite. I thought it was so sweet you invited one of your teachers to come. She was thrilled, as a student had never invited her before. You had three friends from school come and you all had a great time! We had to keep reminding your teacher she didn't have to watch you guys, she could hang out with the adults. It was pretty funny.

You all had a great time, and I think you thoroughly enjoyed being the center of attention. You've grown so much since you first came home. You love music with a good, strong beat. You tell me all the time that I'm a good cooker. You can write your name on your own and are a very meticulous artist. You always color in the lines. You love to run and play and crash into things. You especially love to be Mommy's big helper.

We are so lucky and honored and blessed to be your parents. Happy HAPPY birthday, our sweet son. We love you to the moon and back!

Love,
Mommy

Only God

2011-10-03T22:12:00.000-06:00

Only God....

can turn a MESS into a MESSAGE

a TEST into a TESTIMONY

a TRIAL into a TRIUMPH

a VICTIM into a VICTORY

With all we've had in our lives, and as I check on our three sleeping children tonight before heading to bed myself, how can I not believe?

GIVE God a chance.

Let Him turn your mess into a message,

your test into a testimony,

your trial into a triumph,

you, the victim, into a victory.

Give God a chance.

Little Moments

2011-09-23T21:53:00.000-06:00

Peanut is starting to relax some. She had huge anxiety with her visit last weekend that she wasn't going to be coming back home, just as I was afraid of. Our awesome counselor worked a lot with her this week on helping her to understand the visit and that Mommy and Daddy are NOT leaving her.

I can always tell Peanut's emotional state when I check on her at nighttime. If she's happy and feeling safe, she's in the same position she goes to sleep in when I check on her. If its been a rough night, the sheets are off, and she's in an awkward position.

Bulldozer is getting to be SO big. I love his sense of humor, but his compassion more. He's always plowing through things as fast and as hard as he can, but he's the first to stop and make sure you're okay. Bulldozer is my easy going child. For as clear as he speaks, he still says "I lalu Mommy". I love that.

Bulldozer wants SO badly to do what his brother and sister do. Sometimes its cute, sometimes not so much. Like when his sister wants a hug and all of a sudden so does he.... that's cute. Stuffing the toilet full of toilet paper after trying to wipe his butt like his big brother and then flooding the bathroom, not so much.

The Entertainer is trying so hard to be grown up like his sister. In many ways, he is slowly becoming an almost 5 year old. He rarely naps anymore and is always wanting to help out with everything. Can we somehow bottle that and save it for when he's a teenager?

Entertainer LOVES to live up to his name and entertain. He's all boy for sure. One thing I look forward to the most about winter is winter = less bumps and bruises. I know its part of being a boy, but its still hard on this Mommy's heart when he gets ouchies.

I love the little moments of my life. Even when my kids aren't being the nicest towards each other, or I've not been the best mom I can be. Its always a work in progress. I'm always a work in progress. Its a moment in time that I treasure.

Broken

2011-09-16T14:54:00.001-06:00

I am broken and its taking everything in me to smile and act like everything is okay. Peanut's prior foster placement is coming to town to visit her tomorrow. While I understand the importance of keeping a positive connection for her, I am broken for two reasons.

One, As Peanut's Mom, I was told, not asked if this visit was okay.

Two, all the progress we've made in this almost month Peanut has been home is GONE. She refused to tell me she loved me last night, and won't do it today either. She's clingy but with reservations. Past lessons have taught her that those who "loved" her dumped her with her friends when she wasn't wanted anymore. She won't admit it even if I did ask, but I know she's thinking the same thing again.

She thinks I am going to abandon her, dump her aside like she has been so many times before.

Its breaking my heart.

Watch Me Grow - Peanut's 5 year Check Up

2011-09-15T09:00:00.001-06:00

Peanut had her 5 year check up with Dr. G yesterday. I truly admire Dr. G and how he treats his patients. Knowing her past, he was very careful with her and explained everything to her. He does such a neat job building rapport with kids, which is one of the things I love about him. There are many doctors I've been to with the boys who didn't do that.

Overall the visit went well. Everything looks good for now. We're still waiting for records from where she was at last, and once that happens Dr. G said he would call if anything came up.

One of the funniest things that happened was when he was checking her abdomen. He asked her if she'd had peanut butter and jelly for lunch. She laughed and said no, peanut butter and honey. Dr. G proceeded to tell her that he knew she'd had peanut butter because of how her tummy felt. The funniest part of all of this was Dr. G had a med student with him and asked the med student how you tell if a child has peanut butter in their tummy or not. His point was that you have to build rapport with a child and joke with them as you examine them so they aren't frightened by the exam.

I can only hope the med student learned, because Dr. G is a phenomenal doctor to learn from.

Snippets

2011-09-14T21:47:00.001-06:00

* Peanut continues to do really well with her transition to our family.
* I'm juggling being a Mommy, a full time SPED Teacher, a Grad Student and Grad Assistant.
* I think its going well.
* I should add wife in there... crap. That's kind of important :)
* I spend one on one time with the boys each week in addition to Peanut, which helps remind them that I still love them even though Peanut needs a lot of attention right now.
* It breaks my heart when I stop to think what my children have been through, so I don't. I love them in this moment.
* I will NEVER be able to say thank you to God enough for not only redeeming (and daily doing so) myself, but settling me, a barren woman as a happy mother of children.
* Four more days and Peanut has been here for a whole month!
* It would be a full time job to write down all the cute and funny things my kids do.
* We love our new church. Praise God!
* Weekends are getting crazy busy just like the week, so I've been asked by the head of household to fix that.
* I'd like our weekends to be a bit quieter too, but there it is.
* I'm anxious to paint the boys's room. They begged for orange, and I compromised with a yellowish looking orange.
* I'm not a fan of orange, more a fan of Husker Red. I'm just sayin'.
* I love the progress my students have at school in just the few short weeks we've had.
* Sleep is overrated. Sort of.

When She's Thoughtful

2011-09-06T21:56:00.000-06:00

I completely understand Edward's frustration with Bella, even if the whole story is fictional. He can't read her mind and it drives him nuts when she's "quiet and thoughtful". I totally get that. There are times when A gets quiet and thoughtful. It drives me nuts. I want so desperately to know what she's thinking. What moment in her life she's reliving. What moment in her life she's terrified of. What moment, ANY moment can I help her understand will NEVER happen again.

With time and trust, I know she'll open up. She'll find a way to let me know about those moments, good and bad. In the meantime, I'm thankful for the supportive friends, family, and our counselor.

A Break From Our Regularly Scheduled Posting

2011-09-02T21:52:00.000-06:00

Normally I talk about my three miracles, however today I'm changing it up a bit.

Anyone with a TV has seen the commercials.

You know - the odds of becoming this/that

The odds of Autism

I get the statistics

I see them

EVERY

SINGLE

DAY

when I'm not busy being a Mommy,

I'm Miss Mandi

Teacher and more importantly Fellow Learner with some of the coolest kids on the planet.

Many of whom have Autism.

So swing by here, and help these kids today.

Autism really does speak, and its beyond time we listen.

The Things You Say

2011-08-31T21:30:00.001-06:00

There are so many things I say as a Mom that NEVER parted my lips before being a Mom. Things like:

* Don't feed that to the dog.
* Don't run around naked.
* Chest bumping your brother while naked is also off limits.
* Quit digging. There's nothing good there.
* Hold your wee-wee down. HOLD IT... oh nevermind.
* No, you really can not have cake for breakfast. Daddy was only kidding. RIGHT Daddy?
* We don't eat dog food. Its called DOG food for a reason.
* Did you seriously just do that after I told you not to?!
* No, you may not feed play dough to the dog.
* This is what we're eating for dinner. Its not Burger King, you're not getting it "your way".
*Your wee wee is NOT a toy. EVER.
*Never mind how Mommy knows how to get gum out of hair, just trust me when I say I know.

What are some of the things you've said as a parent you never thought you'd say?

Questions Answered

2011-08-26T22:33:00.000-06:00

We've had quite a few questions asked lately, so I thought I'd answer them all here.

How do the boys handle (Snuggle Time) with Peanut every night?

I have to pat ourselves on the back here, (well okay I know its not ALL us) but the boys are very well bonded to us, and honestly could really care less. They'll ask to sit with me once in a while, but that doesn't last long. They understand she's new to the family and as The Entertainer pointed out the other night, now its Peanut's turn for Snuggle Time with Mommy, just like what he got. Plus the boys still get their own time throughout the week with Mommy :).

Are you going to add anymore to your family or is this it?

At this point in time, this is it. Peanut's adoption should be finalized shortly into 2012, so we will not be renewing our license when the time comes (unless we need to for her). We felt strongly that there was one more child out there waiting to be joined in our family, and Peanut is here! However, I will never tell God no, so really only He knows what happens next. That being said, we feel that a family of five is right where God wants us to be right now.

How is Peanut doing?

Considering all she's been through in her short five years, she is doing really well. There's been some testing of boundaries, but honestly what child doesn't push boundaries. We didn't step into this with false hopes or unrealistic ambitions. We understand its going to take LOTS of love, time, positive boundaries and role modeling and counseling as a family to help Peanut learn to trust and love us.

Was it hard to adjust to being a Mommy again?

Honestly, no. We went from NONE to TWO overnight in Oct. 2009 with the boys, so adding one more and doing it in a period of about a month was much easier. The biggest adjustment has been giving ourselves enough time in the morning to get moving :).

When you adopt, will you change her name?

Probably not. Her name fits her nicely, and while her past certainly isn't a positive one it is still a part of her and where she came from. If she wants to change her name, we will discuss that with her prior to her adoption being finalized. Her last name will be changed, but unless she asks, her first and middle names will remain the same.

How are the kids all getting along?

Like typical brothers and sister that have been around each other forever. For the most part they get along really nicely and are great friends, but just like siblings they can get on each other's absolute last nerve too!

Why can't you post pictures or her name since you know she's being adopted?

While Peanut is being adopted, her legal guardians right now are still the State and to protect her, nothing identifying can be posted. Even after her adoption is finalized, we will still be protective of her just as we are with the boys. All three of our children have been through more than they should have been in their lives, and we're more protective because of that.

Snuggle Time

2011-08-23T20:55:00.001-06:00

Just like when the boys first came, now A gets Snuggle Time each night with Mommy. Its AT LEAST 30 minutes, closer to an hour if possible. During Snuggle Time I hold her close, kiss the top of her head, and take slow, deep breaths. Essentially I hold and snuggle her very similar to a baby is held and snuggled.

Why?

Kids who've been through the system and who, like A, have a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder need it. It is CRITICAL for bonding. A needs to know without any doubt that I am Mommy now. Forever. That I will love her. That I will protect and nurture her. That I will lovingly correct her when she needs it. Snuggle Time is probably one of the single most important things an adoptive mom can do to bond with their child. I know without a doubt that it was a huge factor in bonding with both boys. Bonding (among other things) takes work.

Besides, Mommy ALWAYS loves snuggle time, because one day all too soon, she won't need or want it anymore.

I WANT THIS SHIRT

2011-08-20T11:52:00.000-06:00

I can't WAIT to start getting paychecks again, because I am so buying this shirt!

Watch Me Grow: Bulldozer's Three Year Check Up

2011-08-19T22:06:00.000-06:00

The Bulldozer had his Three Year Check Up and I'm happy to say (though we already knew it), he's right on track and is ONE SMART COOKIE! Dr. G said his language abilities are actually above that of a typical three year old, and he will have NO issues starting Kindergarten at age 5 as long as he continues. The Bulldozer is able to string together pretty complex sentences and carry on very socially appropriate conversations with people around him.

We talked about Bulldozer's eating, because lately he's been what I call a lazy eater. Meaning if its a food that requires effort to chew, even if he's eaten it before and liked it, he'll refuse to eat it. Dr. G said not to worry, that some kids when going through growth spurts will eat everything in sight one minute and want absolutely nothing the next. He said the main thing is to control what I offer and when, and let Bulldozer decide if he is hungry enough for it. He also stressed the importance of (which we don't do anyway) not fixing something else when Bulldozer turns his nose up at what is offered to him. I have to say though, Bulldozer is FANTASTIC about fruits and veggies, he'll even eat the stuff I won't touch!

The other thing lately has been bedtime. Our typical bedtime routine is that they quietly play a little before bedtime, then it's bath, brush teeth, story and bed. The past month/month and a half, when we put Bulldozer to bed, anywhere from 30 minutes - 2 hours later he is still WIDE AWAKE, talking and playing in bed! A friend of mine who is also a foster adoptive momma suggested melatonin to help. She's also got kiddos with sensory needs like Bulldozer, so we talked to our OT friend (who is AMAZING and is also a foster/adoptive momma) about it and what kind to use.

We are using Source Naturals Sublingual Melatonin (orange flavor), 1/2 milligram. Oh my goodness let me tell you - seeing him sound asleep by 8:30 is PURE heaven, for him and us. Getting enough sleep is making such a HUGE difference for him (and Mommy too!).

Dr. G doesn't think Bulldozer will be all that tall, but he's one active little guy that's for sure! Daddy and I still contend he's going to play football one of these days.

Happy Gotcha Day Peanut!

2011-08-18T06:08:00.000-06:00

Today is Peanut's Gotcha Day!

What is a Gotcha Day you ask? For those in the adoption world, a Gotcha Day is the day their adoptive parents got them. The day they came home. In our family, we celebrate Gotcha and Adoption Days. Peanut has to live with us for a minimum of six months before we can finalize her adoption, but we know those six months will fly by fast!

So in the meantime we are C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-I-N-G Peanut today and her Gotcha Day by going to Chuck E Cheese! She's never been before and is very anxious to go. I can't wait for tonight when ALL of my children are home under one roof where they should be. For now anyway. Let's not get carried away when they're in their twenties.

Happy Gotcha Day Peanut! Daddy and I love you to the moon and back and are overjoyed that God has asked us to be your parents!

My Promise to My Children

2011-08-12T18:42:00.000-06:00

I saw this earlier today on a friend's Facebook status and just had to put it here because I couldn't agree more.

Peanut, Entertainer, and Bulldozer:

This is my promise to you. I am your parent first, your friend second. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare and hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I LOVE YOU! Someday when you understand that, then I'll know you've become a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone on Earth who loves, cares, and worries about you more than I do, no matter what age.

Love,

Mommy

God's Dream

2011-08-09T21:31:00.000-06:00

Several years ago, I attended a Women of Faith Conference here in town. Sheila Walsh was one of the speakers, and she spoke of the dreams God has for us. I'll be the first to admit, I sat there and listened, and thought one thing to myself.

This chick has GOT to be off her rocker.

I was going through infertility at the time, and REALLY struggling with the concept that any dream was better than mine - to be a Mommy. I mean seriously, who is God to have a dream for me, and how could it possibly be better than mine?

Oh me of little faith.

In NO way could I have imagined what God's dream was for me. A dream that would be more than I came up with, or could possibly deserve. Its so hard though when you're in the thick of things to be able to see, to understand, to have complete faith what God has planned.

Faith in His dream.

Going through infertility was one of the hardest things that I've ever done. I would have NEVER chosen to go through it. Given the option, I would have said "no thanks" and walked away. That means though, that I would have walked away from God's dream for me.

Thankfully, God is more stubborn than I am.

If there's anything I've learned in life and reading the Bible, its that God's will, will be done - NO MATTER WHAT. If one servant isn't willing, sometimes He'll throw them into a whale, sometimes He moves onto the next person, other times He just patiently waits.

Thankfully, He patiently waited for me.

In just two years, we've welcomed not one, not two, but three children into our lives. Three children ages five and under. Three children who have made my meager dream and God's bigger dream come true. I never EVER in a million years would have dreamed anything like this is possible. I think this just goes to show that God's dreams for us are SO much bigger than our own.

Why?

I'll give you a hint - it's four simple little letters, that when stringed together have HUGE power.

The Bulldozer's Growing Up

2011-08-08T19:24:00.000-06:00

I can't get over how much The Bulldozer is growing. Just over the past month he's really exploded with language, imaginative play, and potty training. He is becoming such a little boy, no longer a baby. The Bulldozer talks ALL the time. I didn't think it was possible for him to do that more so than he was, but yep, it is. He is very conscious of using his manners and corrects everyone who doesn't. The Bulldozer also loves to point out what he can do on his own. He has a great sense of humor and loves to play and have fun.

One of the traits of his personality that's really starting to come out that I LOVE is his compassion. He bulldozes his way through things, but the minute he realizes someone is upset, he's the first to offer a hug. He also turns up the cheesiness when he knows someone is sad to help them feel better.

One thing's for sure. He's no longer a baby.

Phase Two Complete

2011-08-05T22:21:00.001-06:00

A went back to her foster home yesterday, as phase two of her transition finished. I've got to be honest, it SUCKED. I know that this is what is best for her, but it was God's strength that got me through it. As a Momma there are just some things you shouldn't have to do. Like holding your five year old sobbing daughter and telling her going back to her foster home one last time is what is best for her.

Then again, I'm not a typical Momma.

So I gave her a special job to do while on vacation, and magical kisses. Her special job is to find Tigger (They are going to Disney World) and give him a hug for me because he's my favorite character, and since I can't go I asked her to hug him for me.

The second thing I gave her was magical kisses. If you're a parent of little ones and haven't read The Kissing Hand, you need to. Chester the Raccoon is heading to his first day of school, but he's not so sure he's ready to leave his Momma. So she gives him magic kisses in his Kissing Hand that he can press to his cheeks anytime he misses her. So A was given magical kisses in her hands that she can press to her cheeks anytime she misses me.

Overall she did fantastic during Phase Two of her transition. I can't wait for Phase Three - when she moves in for good. In the meantime, I'm going to finish up this chapter in my life of being a Mommy of 2 boys on a high note, because in 13 days this chapter ends and the next begins.

Completely, Perfectly, Incandescently Happy

2011-07-29T22:02:00.000-06:00

Today marks the start of Phase 2 of our daughter's transition plan into our home and lives. We got up early this morning and headed to Bozeman to get her. The closer we got the more anxious I was to see her again. I've really missed her this week. We pulled into the parking spot and got out of the car. As soon as she got out of hers, she smiled HUGE, bolted towards me (our cars were right across from each other) and jumped into my arms.

It was more than my heart could take and it was everything in me to not start crying.

We loaded up her things in our car, she said by to her friend M (this is what she refers to her current foster placement as), and away we went. We took the kids to the Museum of the Rockies where they had a blast, then out to lunch before heading home.

I'm headed to bed shortly blissfully happy and at peace. All of my children for the time being are home. To God alone be ALL the credit.

Three More Days!!!

2011-07-26T21:31:00.000-06:00

Three more days until we get our Peanut again! I can't wait!!! We painted her room the color she picked out and decorated it. I think it turned out GREAT and can't wait for her to see it. When she first saw it, it had plain white walls and blue curtains. Now it is PINK everywhere!

Tomorrow we're going to call her and visit on the phone. We got clearance from her social worker for that today. We've been missing her A LOT and can't wait for Friday!

Sometimes Being a Grown Up Just Plain Sucks

2011-07-24T18:23:00.000-06:00

A spent her first weekend with us. She did fabulous and fit right in just as God knew she would! We had SO much fun and LOVE LOVE LOVE our peanut. I gotta be honest though, today SUCKED the big one. I know its in her best interest to transition slowly, but it still breaks my heart. She was SO sad when it was time for her to go back. She gave me the longest hug and didn't want to let go. Of course I didn't either, which made it that much harder.

Then Cory took her to Bozeman where he met up with her foster mom. Cory said A had a really hard time, just wanted to say hi to her foster mom and then come back home with him. He gave her a huge hug and reminded her we love her and that we'll see her on Friday. I was able to talk to her foster mom too and give her the heads up which will help A. They'll be able to remind her this week we're coming Friday and her therapist can help her on Wednesday too.

Still, it sucks being a grown up sometimes. I know we're doing what is best for A by taking things slowly, but she's my daughter, and I think somewhere deep inside she feels that too.

Dear Underwriter

2011-07-13T19:27:00.000-06:00

Dear Underwriter,

We haven't met, but you've got mine and my husband's financial history in front of you. More importantly, you have our family in front of you. See, we haven't "created" our family like most. God's created our family through adoption. Crazy as it sounds, there is a FIVE year old girl we are head over heels in love with. You read that right, five. Not a baby or a toddler, but a five year old beautiful, funny, smart little girl who's stolen our hearts. A five year old who's been through hell and back. A five year old who deserves to be a part of a family and have parents who adore her.

We NEED this house to do that for her. We need it NOW. She's to transition to our home starting next weekend, and we're to be settled before she does. We've never been late with payments, our mortgage always comes first. We're honest, and we're not asking to bite off more than we can chew.

PLEASE please please make your decision in our favor tomorrow, place your signature and clear the last hurdle so we can close on Friday and get moved in this weekend. A beautiful five year old is counting on you. We are counting on you.

Sincerely,
Mandi

PS... I know the chances of you actually reading this are about as much as me winning the lottery (I don't ever buy tickets by the way) but still wanted to get my humble request out there.

Infertility Mountain

2011-07-12T11:56:00.001-06:00

Infertility took something away from us before we had the chance.

It created a mountain we didn't want, ask for or seek out.

A mountain that on our own, would have been impossible to move.

Jesus tells us "With man, this is impossible. With God, all things are possible".

We prayed.

Believed.

Hoped.

and

God moved that mountain.

In October 2009, we went from zero children to two.

Still we wondered. Prayed. Do we have room for one more? Would God give us one more? Would he move that mountain one last time?

The answer?

One week from Friday, we go from two to three.

I am beyond overwhelmed.

I know its inadequate God, but

thank you

thank you.

Summer Fun

2011-07-09T16:24:00.000-06:00

Boycotting Naptime

2011-07-08T14:23:00.001-06:00

The Bulldozer's been boycotting nap time this week, which suffice to say has made it next to impossible to get anything done without having to get up every couple of minutes and put him back to bed. Today's victim? A stuffed Mickey Mouse. The Bulldozer sat there and pulled the stuffing out while his brother watched. They "quietly" laughed (or so they thought), completely giving themselves away. Rest in peace Mickey, and know that no other stuffed animals will be harmed. Strict laws are now in place and enforced.

Octomom Says Her Babies ‘Disgust’ Her

2011-07-02T08:17:00.000-06:00

Octomom Says Her Babies ‘Disgust’ Her

This kind of thing makes my blood BOIL. Even if she didn't say it, if the magazine made it up, its still in print. Still something her children will see one day. If it is true, then she has ZERO business being a mom (of course... we all knew that anyway, right?) and needs to contact the state immediately so that someone can have her children who will love them before its too late.

Update on The Entertainer and The Bulldozer

2011-07-01T21:57:00.000-06:00

I realized the other day I haven't updated in a while how the boys are doing. The Entertainer and The Bulldozer both have enjoyed up to this point a somewhat lazy summer at home with me. We've spent a lot of time just having fun here at home playing with toys and being outside. We've also been to the zoo where sadly they were both more interested in the playground than the animals.

The weather's been really weird for Montana, which hasn't helped. We had an incredibly rainy spring/start of summer. Now its blasted hot without relief in sight. Some days have been TOO hot and miserable to go outside.

The Entertainer has been maturing a little more each day, very intent lately on being Mommy's super duper big helper. That boy sure does melt my heart! He's always picking flowers for me. He's also excited about having a sister. For now. We'll see what happens when he becomes the middle child :).

The Bulldozer DOESN'T STOP TALKING. E-V-E-R. The stories he tells are sometimes hysterical and sometimes HUGE whoppers. Like the fish that in reality is the size of a goldfish, but the way he tells it more like a shark. Its so funny though. He's also starting to gain more empathy skills. He immediately apologizes when he does something wrong by saying "I so sorry Mommy. I didn't mean to do that". It is cute, even if he did mean to be a stinker at that given moment. The Bulldozer doesn't really understand yet that he has a sister now who we're adopting, but I'm sure with time he will!

Here's to hoping for a safe, fun, fire-works filled fourth of July! Last year was their first time seeing fireworks and their reactions were just priceless. I can't wait to see what happens this year.

Overwhelmed by an OVER THE TOP God

2011-06-28T15:52:00.000-06:00

I don't even know where to begin

except to say

that God is SO SO SO good.

OVER THE TOP good.

Not only did we find (and subsequently buy) an amazing house

we found out today our family is growing again

A, our little girl (who BTW seriously looks JUST like Rapunzel) will be joining our family by end of summer.

To God alone be the credit for ALL of this.

WOW God Wednesday

2011-06-16T12:08:00.000-06:00

10 days

thats how much time was left on our contract with our realtor

we assumed we were going to take it off the market

for it had hardly been shown.

So we assumed God had something different in store for us.

He did, in a way.

He sold our house yesterday.

We have like two weeks to find a new one, close and move in.

God's in control.

WOW is probably the understatement of the year, but there it is.

When God Shuts the Door

2011-06-15T14:04:00.000-06:00

Unless something happens, at the end of this month when the contract with the realtor is up, we've decided to pull our house off the market. Its had very little showings, and the market in general seems to be slow right now. We've had friends that have had their houses on the market for WELL over a year, and are just now getting offers. Its just not something we feel we are supposed to do (waiting for that length of time).

Sometimes, we make a choice thinking we're heading down the right path. And maybe, for the time being we are. Then again, maybe we've picked the wrong path. For reasons we don't understand, God shuts the door and asks us to go down a different path instead.

I'm frustrated with God asking us to go down a different path, but ultimately I have to let that go, take a deep breath and see what He's got in store for us. I can't lie, I've had some beyond amazing "Plan B's" given to me by God, even though at first I was more scared and frustrated than anything. The same can be said here. I'm sad and frustrated we can't move into a bigger house right now, but I also know God's got it all under control and HIS plan will be better than anything I can come up with.

It always is.

I Know Everything

2011-05-29T16:33:00.001-06:00

These are the conversations we have. I can't make this up but I sure do love their little hearts!

Entertainer: Mommy, I know everything.

Me: Oh, you do?

Entertainer: Yep.

Me: So what's the square root of pi?

Entertainer: I like Apple Pie.

Kung Fu Panda 2......An Adoptive Mommy's Thoughts

2011-05-27T21:58:00.001-06:00

We loved and have the original Kung Fu Panda. Its probably one of my favorite animated movies. An absolute "nobody" (Po) becomes somebody, all because he learned to believe in himself. When he believed in himself, others believed in him too. Master Oogway was one of my favorite characters next to Po in that movie. So naturally, when I heard there was a second one coming with the original actor voiceovers, out I was excited. As were my boys.

Then I heard a little more about the movie and became worried.

Po realizes he's been adopted (although its been a given to everyone else) and asks the ultimate "Where did I come from" question. Without wanting to give too much of the movie away and spoil it, I will tell you this.

I had NOTHING to worry about. I was pleasantly surprised. So, how did they handle the topic? Essentially the writers threw in every stereotype about adoption. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. So why am I not worried? Why did I LOVE this movie? Two reasons:

Po (and the audience) learned what adoption REALLY is,

and secondly that:

No matter our beginning, we have a destiny and a choice. Sometimes we're forced down paths we don't want to be on (like infertility) but that path is a part of our destiny. We can either fight it and hold onto the past, or we can embrace it and let it guide us to our future, which is where we're meant to be, and better than what we'd envisioned.

You even see a glimpse at the very end from a birthparent's point of view, which leaves one to wonder....

will there be a Kung Fu Panda 3?

If there is, you can bet we'll be there.

From There to Here

2011-05-26T21:34:00.000-06:00

1,460 days

245,280 hours

2,102,400 minutes

equals

FOUR YEARS

Four years. A smart alek comment to my doctor in 2004 lead to four years of testing. Four years of poking, prodding, scanning, this medicine and that. Four years of not knowing why when we loved kids, WANTED kids, yet we couldn't seem to get those magic lines on the stick to work. No matter what we or the doctors did.

Then, February 2009 we finally had an answer.

We were both contributing factors to our infertility, and only one of us could be medically fixed. The doctors looked at us and said unless God himself changed things, we'd NEVER have biological kids. We were heartbroken, but we knew deep in our hearts that this moment had been coming, so we had prepared for the worst.

They say when you hit rock bottom, that's when you fully turn to God. You've got nothing left but faith, and nowhere to look but up. We'd definitely hit rock bottom, and certainly had no choice but to look up. To rely on God's strength to get us through, get our marriage through.

A friend spoke with me that December prior, asking if we'd thought about Foster Care Adoption. We knew it was an option but honestly hadn't given it much thought aside from that. Something my friend said stuck with me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "Remember they're not looking for perfect. They're looking for someone who will love kids."

In looking at all our options, we felt God was asking us to be open to Foster Care Adoption. So in January, before we had our diagnosis, we started the paperwork and classes to become Foster Adoptive Parents.

In April we finished classes, completed our homestudy, and received our license as a Concurrent Home. This means that we'll take either foster or adoptive placements with the understanding if they're foster placements and reunification is not possible, then we are open to adopt. It was also in April a parent of a student approached me. Her teen daughter was pregnant and did not want to parent. We agreed to adopt, which put us on hold for foster care.

I was able to go to her doctor appointments and enjoy an occasional lunch with her as we got to know each other.

In August, she changed her mind.

We were crushed. I was angry. FURIOUS with God. Knowing the circumstances of her and the baby, which I won't mention on here, her choosing to parent was NOT a good option (and sadly I've been proven correct). I dove into work the best way I could, but I know my grief was noticeable. I felt like I'd died inside, and while I had fantastic support online, in real life not so much. I was pretty much told to get over it, he was never my baby to begin with, etc.

It took me a good month to take a deep breath and "move on". Even now, I still think of him and pray for him. However, we notified our worker that the adoption had disrupted and we were ready to be considered for placements.

In October we were asked if we'd be interested in a placement, two boys. One was 18 months, the other had just turned 3. They were brothers, and it was foster care only. We said yes immediately. We had NO idea what we were in store for but gave it back to God and told Him we'd do whatever He wanted from us.

Seven days later we received a second phone call.

One that changed and continues to change our lives.

Questions Answered

2011-05-23T20:59:00.000-06:00

From Kyle and Phyllis:
Q: Do you have a house you're interested in buying already or are you going to sell yours first and then look?
A: We've seen some we like, but we're focusing on selling ours first and then really looking.

From M's Mama
Q: How did we decide to adopt, and how did the boys come to us?
A: Too long to answer here, I'll be posting for that separately soon :).

New Faces Means.....

2011-05-17T20:30:00.000-06:00

Some new readers have popped up along the way recently.... so I thought it'd be fun to do a Q&A.

What are you dying to know? Curious about?

Leave me a question in the comments and I'll compile everything into a Q&A post soon :)

Thirty One

2011-05-14T21:54:00.001-06:00

Yesterday when a co-worker found out today was my birthday, she smiled and joked, "25, right?" The other day another one joked that she was in her 20's as well when in reality she'd just turned 41. So what exactly as women is our aversion to age?

Are we afraid we'll be less valuable? Less attractive? Dare I say..... older?

I admit, I once had an aversion to age. For me, every year I got older was a year closer to NEVER being a Mommy. I'd worked in the medical field long enough to know the risks of having children later in life, and I was rapidly approaching that. Aging then TERRIFIED me. All I could think was that getting one step closer to the next age was taking me one step further away from becoming a Mommy.

Thankfully, I've learned A LOT since then.

Things like

God's plan is ALWAYS better than mine
Number 1 applies to you, too
The organizer and planner in me FREAKS OUT when I don't have "control" or an idea of where I'm headed, and God's patient with me anyway.
My hair is thinning out with age, and there's not a darn thing I can do about it but accept it.
My worth is NOT judged on this Earth, and is far greater than any judgment on Earth that was ever or will ever be passed on.
Number 5 applies to you too.
Turning 31, or 41, or any age is a gift of grace from God not to be wasted.
Come to think of it, number 7 applies to you also.

So I can either hide my age, or be proud of it, thankful for it, and determined to do a better job of showing God's love to people than I did the year before.

What about you?

Dreams Come True

2011-05-14T16:00:00.000-06:00

Dreams Come True

We always knew we needed you

We dreamed for years and years

We prayed that we would find you

That God would lead you here

A gift is what you are to us

You bring laughter, hope and joy

You've made our lives complete now

Our special little boys

A difficult journey to make you ours

Worth every step of the way

What blessings you have brought to us

With every passing day

Your awe at a yellow flower

Your sweet adoring smile

You call your belly-button "doorbell"

What a precious little child!

You said, "I want to hold you"

We want to hold you, too

We thank God He brought you to us

You've made our dreams come true

-April Saginor

The Life I Planned

2011-05-07T21:14:00.000-06:00

The life I planned

would see me at my ideal weight, not struggling daily with extra weight

would let me be seen as beautiful on the outside as well as inside.

The life I planned

would have seen me watch as life grows within me, and hear the first screams of my children as they take their first breaths

had so many dreams, hopes, plans

that have never happened.

See, the life I planned is crap.

Its NOTHING compared to the life God has planned for me.

NOTHING compared to the dreams He has for me.

NOTHING compared to the love He has for me.

Life may not have gone, and may not be going to my plans, but it is to His.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

The life God has planned

has seen me experience joy and pain at the same time

brought a man into my life who loves me beyond comprehension.

The life God has planned

has taught me that it doesn't take blood to be family

and

that I am beautiful, even if I'm a size 14 instead of a 4

The life God has planned

is beyond my wildest dreams and imaginations

and is

infinitely more than I deserve.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.

{1 Corinthians 2:9}

I Not Eat it Mommy!

2011-04-28T21:57:00.000-06:00

We've been working really hard with The Bulldozer on not putting EVERYTHING in his mouth, and today one of the teachers caught him out at play time putting a worm to his mouth. It was SO hard to not laugh when I talked to him about it because it was sooooo funny how he responded. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: D, you KNOW you're not supposed to put things to your mouth that aren't food. Its not safe.

D: I not eat it Mommy! I want smell it! Like this! (and proceeds to show me how he smelled it). I not it eat! He stinks!

So later when Daddy talked with him, this is what happened:

R: Do you know what D did Daddy? He tried eatin' a worm!

D: I did not! I hold him like this (showing Cory) and I say I D! I D! Hi Worm!

Daddy: So you didn't eat the worm?

D: NO! He poopy! He not smell good!

Happy Easter

2011-04-22T19:58:00.000-06:00

Ah yes, Easter. Bunnies, chocolate, and Easter Egg Hunts. The boys had an Easter Egg Hunt at their school this morning. It was amusing to say the least. The Bulldozer, upon discovering CANDY was in the eggs, set out to collect as many as would fit into his little bag. The Entertainer was more content to just run and laugh, therefore only collecting four compared to his brother's twenty. Okay, so maybe twenty is an exaggeration, but you get the idea.

While its all fun and games, Easter is SO much more.

Easter is by far my favorite time of year. More so than Christmas. Its because of Easter, and more specifically because of one man that I am alive. That any of us have the chance to be.

Before anyone starts yelling "Jesus is the Son of God, the Messiah" or anything else, YES, HE IS.

BUT

The Bible is specific. Jesus was also man.

Jesus was also man.

Think about this for a minute.

God loves us SO much that he sent Jesus to be man

to live with us

to die for us

so that we can live

This Easter, and every Easter, I remember

and I'm humbled

and overwhelmed

that God loves me

and you

much.

Still Hard

2011-04-17T19:07:00.000-06:00

I LOVE my boys. Beyond words. LOVE THEM.

Still, not having two lines on a stick, or the word pregnant or whatever is and knowing that will never happen is still a hard thing to accept. Most days I'm okay with it. Every once in a while it creeps in though. Someone looked at me the other day and said "I was just about to say I'm nauseous like morning sickness but I forgot you wouldn't understand that". What she said was the truth, and she certainly didn't mean it to hurt, but it still does.

A friend's daughter, who is unmarried and young, invited me to her baby shower. A party for a pregnancy she has complained about since day one. She isn't trying to rub anything in my face, rather just trying to be nice and invite me, but the fact that she can get pregnant so easily when I can't hurts.

I love adoption. Jesus was adopted. God adopted us. We have children we adore beyond words because of adoption. If I could go back and change anything, I wouldn't. I'd go through it all over again to get The Entertainer and The Bulldozer, and any other child God has planned for us. Its not easy though.

God didn't promise easy though, just that he'd be with us every step of the journey. Especially the hard days.

The Things Boys Say

2011-04-12T20:52:00.000-06:00

I HAVE to share this because its too funny not to.

The Entertainer: Is The Bulldozer taking a bath first?

Daddy: Yes

The Entertainer: Make sure he doesn't pee in there because thats just gross, and I don't want to be in there after him if he does that.

When Your Mommy's a Current Teacher/Former EMT

2011-04-11T21:25:00.000-06:00

What happens when your Mommy is currently a teacher and used to be an EMT?

You hear the phrase "toughen up" A LOT.

The Bulldozer took a header today at school, so I swung by to check it and see how bad it was. It was a tiny puncture wound (just enough to break the skin, not even truly puncture deep). I cleaned it up more from what the teachers had, and told him to toughen up and be careful.

I also kicked myself for not having super glue. Super glue works WONDERS when you can't use a band-aid. As long as everything's clean of course :).

My Humble Thoughts on Women of Faith

2011-04-09T21:05:00.000-06:00

I had the tremendous opportunity to attend Women of Faith this weekend right here at home. I first went years ago as a volunteer. My job at that time was to assist Leigh Capillino (now a singer with Point of Grace), who lead the worship songs, from where ever her Point A to Point B was. That was before life's ups and downs, before infertility. This weekend that just ended today was only my third time at Women of Faith. See, through the years, something (an excuse of sorts) always came up. I was working, or couldn't afford it, etc. Which by the way, if you volunteer, you get in for free, so really it wasn't a good excuse.

What it boiled down to was this. I didn't have the greatest relationship with God. From about 14 on I didn't really have a relationship with my mom and was struggling with that. Larger than that I was struggling with the concept that a "loving" God would make me go through infertility. Why would I immerse myself into a weekend spent listening to God's word? Worshipping God? Praising God? A weekend with women who I felt were better than me. Women who I just knew had "holier than thou" attitudes.

I still don't know that I have the greatest relationship with God. I'm opinionated, and I like to be able to have choices and be "in control". I'm horribly impatient at times, and I struggle with forgiving myself for the wrong choices I've made in my life. I'm a perfectionist (only with myself). I'm working on it though. I know that each day I'm still breathing, its another day, another chance. Another chance to continue building a relationship with my Father who is CRAZY about me (and you!). Another chance to bring him glory, to fulfill his purpose for me.

There's no way I can sum up everything I learned this weekend. I wouldn't do it justice. The best I can do is to say this. I am in AWE of a loving, all-knowing, OVER THE TOP God who loves me just as I am.

Oh and by the way, those women at the conference? Both the attendees and speakers? They're not holier than me or you. They're not better than me or you. They are their own beautiful, broken, redeemable, salvagable mess just like you and me. Women who need encouragement, not to be torn down. Women who need to know they're loved. That they're worth something. Women who sing praise to God because its the best we can do to say thanks.

You can bet I'm going again next year.

Still Breathing

2011-04-08T17:42:00.001-06:00

I met a guy today.

Oh don't worry, my husband knows.

He's okay with it. Really. In fact, his first question was "they have a guy at a women's conference?"

They do, and his name is Andy Andrews.

And technically, I didn't really meet him, though that would be fantastic. I did hear him speak and yes, its at a women's conference.

I've been to Women of Faith before, and heard all the brilliant things women like Patsy Clairmont, Shelia Walsh, and Sandi Patty have had to say. It was great reminders, and uplifting, but never truly struck a chord with me. Then today, Andy spoke.

And all I could think was "Dude! Has this guy been digging in my brain?!" If there was a nail to hit in my life right now, he pegged it. To the T. I'm bummed I have to miss tonight with the school carnival, but can't wait to hear more of what he has to say tomorrow. Though, admittedly it is sorta creepy that he's managed to pick into my brain so well.

As my brain tries to wrap itself around both his presentations today, and those of Patsy, one thing keeps repeating itself over and over and over in my head. Something Andy said. I'm paraphrasing of course, but it basically comes down to this:

If you're still breathing, you still have purpose. You still have something that can be done for God.

I'm still breathing, as are you who read this. So take heart and know that as you're still breathing, God still has great plans that through you will bring glory to Him.

A sense of purpose.

Random Thoughts

2011-04-06T21:31:00.001-06:00

Ever have a day where you have SO many thoughts you wonder how they all fit in your brain? I do, and call it Random Thought Day. So here's my random thoughts for today:

I can not believe the government thinks its okay to raise their salaries, then contemplates a shutdown and tell taxpayers who have money coming to them, "sorry but you'll have to wait".

I am so in awe of how I am a Mommy. I did NOTHING to deserve the honor, yet have it anyway.

I am headed to Women of Faith this weekend with a friend!

I made it a whole day without a soda pop.

Though I did have a Hazelnut Latte for the 3rd day in a row.

We need our adoption credit return YESTERDAY.

We need our house to be sold YESTERDAY.

Because I want to be a Mommy who gets to play TODAY instead of fretting about the house, the laundry, or anything else adult-ish.

Football season, Harry Potter Part 2, and Breaking Dawn can not come fast enough.

So far, so good with AT&T. Afterall, they did automatically import my contacts from my old phone.

As a wise friend pointed out, "blood is not always thicker than water"

I think that if Norma McCorvey from Roe vs. Wade now says abortion is wrong, then that should be a clue for our country.

I am SALVAGED.

My all time favorite quote is from Gandhi:

"Be the change you wish to see in this world."

Look Who's Three!

2011-04-02T20:18:00.000-06:00

My (Not So) Little Bulldozer,

Where oh where has the time gone? I swear sometimes it was just yesterday that your social worker brought you here. Just yesterday that you were 18 months old, yet the size of a 12 month old. Yet, it wasn't. Eighteen months have gone by.

Eighteen months.

You're becoming more boyish and less babyish every day. You talk so much I can't get a word in edgewise. Heck, even when you ask questions I can't answer them because you're onto the next one. You love to be outside, watch "moobies" with Mommy on Wednesdays when Daddy bowls, and you bulldoze your way through everything.

As I type this, you're fast asleep SNORING in bed. You've played and played and played some more. You ate a TON of cake and still asked for more. You squealed with delight when you asked off and on all day if it was your birthday and we said yes. Happy Birthday my sweet boy. You (and your brother) are loved MORE than you'll ever know.

I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2011-03-27T20:48:00.001-06:00

We were driving to get Daddy for dinner when The Entertainer informed me he said prayers at naptime. So I asked him what he prayed for. His response?

"I asked Jesus for the new house, a new car, and a baby sister".

When I asked him what kind of car he wanted, he said a race car.

While I don't think our family will fit in a racecar, I pray too that within the next two weeks we get an offer on our house. Whatever happens though, God's in control.

Blessed

2011-03-26T09:58:00.000-06:00

I have had a week from HELL. Literally. If it could go wrong this past week, it has. Every person that has shown interest in our house... our house is always their second choice. Cory's been working until 7, sometimes 8PM most nights. He'll be working 12 days straight before his next day off. Which makes me (essentially) a single parent. One who is Mommy full time, works full time, goes to school part time, and is trying to sell the house. Work has been NUTS between testing, IEPS and EVALS to be done, support staff gone, and just everything in general. And those are just snipits of the week.

Thursday, I hit my limit and broke down crying while getting the boys their dinner.

If you know me in real life - you know this is not my style AT ALL. I am almost always positive, and have never cracked under pressure.

I wiped my tears, went and played with the boys after dinner and in my heart BEGGED God for some help. Some kind of sign. ANY sign.

Yesterday, I got it.

TONS of friends emailing, texting, facebooking, and calling me with words of encouragement.

A student's mom brought flowers to school

and

a friend had flowers delivered

while another one attempted

(don't ever go with FTD...)

then

Cory called

to say his boss gave him a gift card to take me out to dinner.

I am SO blessed.

Trusting God

2011-03-23T19:50:00.000-06:00

$500

that's the check I wrote today

for our new house

we get it back if our house doesn't sell and we can't buy the new house

but

I know my Father won't give me any more than I can handle

and

i'm trusting

Him

that

we won't get that money back

we'll get our house

instead

Learning to Be Patient

2011-03-22T21:09:00.000-06:00

I am not a patient person by nature.

Don't get me wrong... there are loads of things I can be patient with. Teaching kids how to do things, waiting in line at the grocery store (though, sometimes I think there we ALL have our limits), etc. I'm such a type-A though, I hate waiting, sitting, etc.

Waiting for a potential buyer?

Heck no.

I SUCK AT IT.

Miserably so.

Which is probably why God keeps giving me this lesson over and over and over and....

well, you get the point.

I know that things will work out. I know the right buyer for this house will come along at the right time. I know that the perfect house for us, the one that God finds perfect for us, will be there when it needs to be. It is just maddening to have to wait in the meantime. To be patient.

Its my only option though, because I don't have time for anything else.

Overwhelmed

2011-03-21T19:29:00.001-06:00

i.am.overwhelmed.

by an AMAZING

limitless

selfless

LOVING

God

who

for some reason

loves me

just as I am

in all that I am.

we found a house

they accepted our offer

there are VERY potential buyers looking for a 2nd time at our house tomorrow.

Pray they make an offer

Pray that this is all God's doing

because if its not I want nothing to do with it.

I have a sneaking feeling though it is.

and

i.am.VERY

overwhelmed by it all.

as if that wasn't enough,

my friend FINALLY got her call today.

THE call.

The "you're going to be parents" call.

We serve such a Holy and Loving God.

Amen

Amen

Amen

Little Details

2011-03-20T17:04:00.000-06:00

We had another open house today which I was INCREDIBLY nervous about as the first one didn't go that well.

Today was AWESOME.

We had TONS of people look, all loved our house and made several comments AND even said it was 100 times better than the house down the street that is bigger than ours and cheaper! There are two very real potential buyers, so we are going to be praying that one of them is the buyers God has in mind for us and that we can buy the house that is meant for us!

I can't wait to see what God will have happen next!

Re-Licensed!

2011-03-18T17:25:00.000-06:00

Yep - we're re-licensed as a concurrent home! Only God knows what will happen. It's all His show anyway, we're just along for the ride.

If The Entertainer has his way, he'll have his baby sister. Either way, I just want to do what God wants from me, wherever that may lead us.

Forever His

2011-03-14T00:26:00.001-06:00

first, the entertainer, R, gets baptized

then, the bulldozer, D, who was ALL too eager when he heard water was involved

followed by one of my FAVORITE pictures, as it has our family including the boys's godparents

and finally.....

a HUGE smile from the bulldozer that says

I'm forever His.

Less Than A Month

2011-03-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

I can not believe that in less than a month, The Bulldozer's turning 3.

THREE!

Where in the world has time gone?!

That means in less than a month,

I've been a parent for 18 months.

We've been a family for 18 months.

I've lost 18 months worth of sleep, showers, and clothes that I can identify whats on them.

Less than a month to plan an epic party.

It WILL be epic.

We tend to over-do birthdays, but I'm okay with that.

Birthdays celebrate the day you're born.

I want the days my children were born to ALWAYS be a celebration.

Less than a month.

Sounds a lot better than less than 24 hours.

Either way, I'm one lucky Momma.

This Is The Stuff

2011-03-09T19:23:00.001-07:00

I've decided I must be crazy. Certifiably so. I may have to certify myself, but I'll do it.

Cory's working 7am-ish until 7pm-ish EVERY night

The house is STILL on the market.

Which means I STILL have to keep it super clean.

EVERYDAY.

I really think I should be able to hang a sign that says I live with a 2 and 4 year old, what you see is what you get.

I'm still taking two classes this semester, and keeping up with those requirements.

I'm getting pulled in every direction possible at work.

The Bulldozer's decided he doesn't want to be in big boy underwear at this time.

I can't keep up with ANYTHING.

I can't remember anything. I've lost my keys, my phone, my mind.

And that's just today.

This is the Stuff.

Yet just like the song, there is a purpose.

A plan for the craziness.

No matter how crazy life is right now, or how crazy it can be, I have to remember one thing.

I am blessed.

Tired

Stressed

Worrying

Frazzled

Trying to quit drinking pop........again

Blessed.

BTW... if you haven't heard This Is The Stuff by Francesca Battistelli... you NEED to.

Faith Like a Child

2011-02-26T13:18:00.001-07:00

Ugh. It has been one of those emotionally draining weeks. One where you just want to curl up under the covers and not surface.

Work has been nuts. I had a new student placed on my caseload (my choice) that has been done such a HUGE disservice up to this point, its probably a good thing I can't pick out her past teacher in a crowd.

We still haven't received our tax refunds/returns whatever they're called and that HAS TO BE DONE before we can get a clear picture of what kind of price range we're looking at for a new house.

Our house is on the market, but still not on our realtor's website. Granted, we did call him right before he was heading out of town, but its a little hard to share with people if I don't have an MLS number or flyer to give them.

Cory's new job does mean more pay - via overtime. The poor man is working 6 days a week, sometimes 7 and usually 10-12 hours.

I told Cory last night that I just need to take a step back and breathe. We must be on the right course for God, otherwise we wouldn't have all these stressors popping up all of a sudden.

We just need faith like a child.

Children are great. They'll dance whether anyone's watching or not, without a care as to how they look. If you ask them to hop like a frog, they'll do it. If you ask them to share their food, they'll do it. They have HUGE faith that everything will work out. Blind faith.

I want that kind of faith.

I know God can do AMAZING things with us. He already has, and not because He had to, but because He wanted to. I have faith that this will all work out as its meant to in God's ever perfect timing. Patience has always been a hard lesson for me to swallow.

I know what I want though. I know what I need, what I have to do.

I have to have faith like a child in my Father, who knows what is right for me.

From there, everything else will fall into place.

Buckle Up Buttercup

2011-02-23T21:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen the Carnival Cruise commericals? Go Youtube 'em if not. They're hysterical. Cory loves how the guy announces at the end "Buckle Up Buttercup".

Well... its time for us to do just that!

Cory left a message with our realtor who sold our house to us 6 years ago explaining our situation. I figured MAYBE we'd hear back from him within a week or so, and maybe he'd remember us, but I wasn't holding my breath.

He (our realtor) called Cory today, said he absolutely remembered us and would love to work with us again. Within 24 hours he's already got a comp house, figured out the market value for ours, AND done research on the house I found. He came by tonight to take pictures and do paperwork with us. He commented on how we've made everything cozy and have completed some nice updates. He's confident it will sell quickly.

Our house goes on the market as of Friday!

Let me be clear - this is ALL God opening the doors for us. To God alone the credit goes!

In the meantime we're praying that God continues to guide our path and we buy the house He has in mind for our family.

It's definitely time to "buckle up buttercup"!

Only God Knows

2011-02-20T10:58:00.001-07:00

I like to window shop for certain things, like houses. Just to look and see what other houses look like and color combinations I maybe haven't thought of before. Just for fun. Or so I thought.

With our plans set to sell our house this summer... I've been looking even more. I don't know why, but I have.

Well... guess what? I might have found a house.

Yellow isn't really my cup of tea, BUT....

It's a 5 bedroom 2 bath house. Not huge (1900ish square feet) but big enough. The price?

$135K.

The kitchen's 3 times the size of what I have, and the bedrooms didn't look too bad. Cory wants to check it out and see about a buy-sell agreement if its in good shape.

I have NO idea what house God has in mind for us, but I'm game for whatever He's got in mind. Even if its bright yellow.

Mommy I Taught Him

2011-02-19T14:55:00.000-07:00

This morning as we were headed to pick up L, my godson for respite care, the boys were talking about movies. Moobies if you ask D. I chuckled so hard at the conversation that unfolded behind me.

R: D do you want to see Lilo?

D: Yeah! Memo!

R: No, not Nemo. LILO.

D. What?

R: LEE LO. Like this! Li-Lo. Say Lee

D: Lee

R: Now say Lo

D: Lo

R: Now together. Lee-Lo

D: Leeeeee-Lo

R: Very good D! Lilo!

R: Mommy I taught him! I taught him how to say Lilo!

Mommy: (Chuckling because it was just too dang cute) You sure did! What a great thing to share. Are you going to be a teacher like Mommy some day?

Both R and D: Yep!

My Date with Edward

2011-02-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

Got your attention, didn't I? :)

Yes, I know I'm a Mommy. I still ~~like~~ love Twilight. I really do believe that when you meet the person God designed for you, your own "Edward" (or Jacob if you're into um... hairy things), you just know and you're drawn to that person. Your world jives better with that person.

Tonight MY Edward, aka Cory set up date night for us.

He took the boys this morning while I had my appointment to get my hair done and went dress shopping. R helped to pick it out, insisting that Mommy would love the "diamonds" on the dress (blue decorator jewels). So tonight we got to get all gussied up and dropped the boys off at Grandpa and Grandma's.

Dinner was at Walkers, a nice little place here in town. It was a splurge for us, but SO yummy and nice. We talked about our plans to buy a bigger house this summer and other things. We then were going to go to The Rail Yard, where there was to be some live music but it wasn't really our cup of tea. Don't get me wrong, I love live music... but just in a different setting. So we bagged it and went to the Rims where we sat and looked over the city and talked about this and that. I sighed at one point out of pure contentment.

Afterwards we went to the mall and they have one of those goofy photo booths. I talked Cory into it and got some CUTE pictures that I can't wait to find a frame for to put on my desk at work.

While Edward and Bella may not be real, Cory is my Edward and is very much real.

I have a feeling I'm very much his Bella.

Watch Me Grow: 4 years and 2 1/2 years

2011-02-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

As you can see by the title, both boys got check ups yesterday and today. We switched them to our doctor. Dr. G is a family doctor, so we wanted all of us under one roof.

R's (The Entertainer) appointment was first, yesterday. Dr. G was a hit right away with him, as he asked him if he had any mashed potatoes growing in his ears. R laughed immediately and said no. He then asked to look in Dr. G's ears, which Dr. G said was only fair. R determined Dr. G had the mashed potatoes in his ears. Did I mention this continued through today with R marching around the house saying he had potatoes in his ears, but that he was saving them for lunch???? Yep... it did. So thanks Dr. G. :)

R is in the 25th percentile for height and 50th for weight. I was hoping 50th for both, but considering the growth he's made since Oct. 2009, I can't complain. He's all set to go now until he turns 5. As we were leaving, he said "I like that Dr. G. He's a nice man".

Today was D's (The Bulldozer) turn. I laughed so hard because he talked NONSTOP. Dr. G couldn't get a word in edgewise. He asked if he was like this normally, to which I laughed and answered truthfully, ALL THE TIME. He's ahead for language skills, as if that were a shocker. D is also 25th percentile for height and 50th for weight. I did learn something new, that D was born at 35 weeks. So at least 3 weeks premature. I expressed my concern about EVERYTHING going to his mouth. Rocks, dirt, food, toys, etc. Dr. G feels he missed that stage of development and to continue with the firm NO and eventually D will outgrow it.

I sure as heck hope so! In the meantime he won't have to do his 3 year well child check up until end of summer/early fall because Dr. G wants enough time to chart growth.

I know one thing, these little babes of mine are growing right in front of me and way too fast.

WOW God Wednesday

2011-02-16T14:57:00.000-07:00

We listen to KLOVE, and on Wednesdays they have what they call WOW God Wednesdays where people share what God has done for them that just really WOWs them.

Well... if you remember this post, I was really wondering what God wanted us to do next. We had started talking about it shortly after Christmas. Cory's compromise with me was that if we were financially more sound, could finish fixing up our house and move into something bigger, then we could take in more kids (whether just foster or foster to adopt). His condition was that it had to happen by March 1.

Within this past week, SO much has happened.

A dear friend of mine who's been waiting to adopt longer than she should have to, found out she's going to the active list earlier than anticipated and will have their profile shown to birthmothers as early as this week.

Yesterday while out with my special needs students at lunch, someone picked up our tab and paid for it. We're talking a tab OVER $50.

Cory got a "new" position at work, putting him in as a Team Lead of a Group which = more money.

With the adoption credits and such for taxes, we are getting enough back to pay off "bad" debt (2 credit cards and a loan) and replace all the windows in our house, therefore making us one MAJOR step closer to selling it and buying something bigger.

So, here we are approaching March 1 and we're going to be more financially sound than we were, we're going to fix up the house BIG TIME and make room for one more.

I'm completely speechless. Which, for those that know me, is HUGE. I've always got an opinion. Just ask my boss. The poor man.

Thank you seems SO inadequate, but its the best I can offer to God. That, and the promise that I am his and will do whatever he asks, no matter how crazy I think it is.

Things I Love About My Husband

2011-02-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

In honor of Valentine's Day, I'd like to share what I love about my husband. Happy Valentine's Day Cory! We may be broke as all hell... At least until payday, but we have each other, the two most adorable boys on the planet, and the two most loyal dogs around!

I LOVE
   his love for God
   his love for me
   his love for our children
   his passion for our country and The Constitution
   his great sense of humor
   his big, soft heart that says okay when I beg him can we bring one more child home
   his skills and understanding of numbers
   his hard work ethic
   his protectiveness of our family
   his ability to debate well
   his willingness to help around the house, with sick kids, etc.
   that God picked him to be a part of my life!

The Newlywed Game: Her Turn

2011-02-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know we've been married for almost 9 years, but I thought this would be fun to do anyway. Today we see how well I know Cory. Let the games begin!

1. He's sitting in front of the TV. What is He watching?

Mandi: 1000 Ways to Die, or any show on HGTV.

Cory: (He claims) Only because there's nothing else on.

2. You're out to eat. What kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

Mandi: Ranch.

Cory: Yep

3. Name one food he doesn't like.

Mandi: Fish

Cory: Correct

4. What shirt size does he wear?

Mandi: X-Large

Cory: Yep.

5. What size shoes does he wear?

Mandi: 11

Cory: Right

6. What's his favorite type of sandwich?

Mandi: Cheese and Bologna

Cory: Just Cheese

7. What would he eat every day if she could?

Mandi: Mac and Cheese

Cory: That would be nice!

8. What is his favorite cereal?

Mandi: Raisin Bran

Cory: Pretty much

9. What would he never wear?

Mandi: Not sure, probably not women's clothing? He's not terribly picky.

Cory: Definitely not women's clothing.

10. What's his favorite sports team?

Mandi: Broncos

Cory: Yep

11. What is something he does you wish he wouldn't?

Mandi: Leave dirty clothes on the floor.

Cory: Tries to claim I do it as well...

12. What is his heritage?

Mandi: Norwegen

Cory: Norwegen Irish English German

13. Did he play sports in high school?

Mandi: Track and Field, Band

Cory: Not really track, but yes to the other two.

14. What unique talent does he have?

Mandi: Great debate skills!

Cory: Some would disagree.

The Newlywed Game: His Turn

2011-02-11T21:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know we've been married for almost 9 years, but I thought this would be fun to do anyway. Tonight's edition of The Newlywed Game checks to see how well Cory knows Mandi. Let the games begin!

1. She's sitting in front of the TV. What is she watching?

Cory: A Huskers Game.

Me: Yep, or a chick flick.

2. You're out to eat. What kind of dressing does she get on her salad?

Cory: Ranch.

Me: Right again

3. Name one food she doesn't like.

Cory: Eggs

Me: Hands down! YUCK!

4. What shirt size does she wear?

Cory: Large

Mandi: Okay... this is getting freaky.

5. What size shoes does she wear?

Cory: 9

Mandi: Correct again

6. What's her favorite type of sandwich?

Cory: Peanut Butter and Honey

Mandi: Really, is there any point in going on?

7. What would she eat every day if she could?

Cory: Pasta

Mandi: Sad, but true.

8. What is her favorite cereal?

Cory: Granola

Mandi: Wow... he actually got one wrong! Pass me a bowl of RAISIN BRAN please.

9. What would she never wear?

Cory: Thong Underwear

Mandi: Just say NO to butt floss.

10. What's her favorite sports team?

Cory: Huskers

Mandi: Yep. Though he'd better get this right.

11. What is something she does you wish she wouldn't?

Cory: Leave the blowdryer on the towel rack.

Mandi: There are worse things I could do.

12. What is her heritage?

Cory: European

Mandi: While technically right, let's get specific. Then you can really look at me and go "ah-ha". Irish and German baby!

13. Did she play sports in high school?
Cory: No

Mandi: I totally think Band Geek counts. I'm just sayin'.

14. What unique talent does she have?

Cory: Organization skills

Mandi: Not going to argue that one. I am self-proclaimed OCD at it.